Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

Final AIDS/LifeCycle Travels Through Santa Barbara County - Noozhawk

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Which is the best face wash for oily skin?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

How does the narcissist react when he realizes you no longer care?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I see through liars

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Stock futures inch lower to kick off start of the new trading month: Live updates - CNBC

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Former ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star breaks down in tears over ALS diagnosis - PennLive.com

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Cosmic Dawn with Nobel Laureate John Mather - NASA (.gov)

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

England is launching a gonorrhea vaccine. Is Canada next? - Yahoo

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I can count

What makes a woman attractive?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

We Finally Know The Route Of Neanderthals’ Massive Migration Across Eurasia - IFLScience

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What are "demonic attacks" and how can one tell when they're happening to them, or someone else? How would one go about dealing with it?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What does a passable feminine crossdresser look like?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Steelers TE wants no part of Jonnu Smith trade - Behind the Steel Curtain

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can read

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened